This is an old journal entry I felt you might receive from it so I decided to share….
For about two months I have been hearing the Lord ask me “what do you want.” I have not answered Him because I knew that the question was deeper than the superficial desires of life, like to have a family, business, a prosperous ministry, etc. I knew that was not what He was talking about. I have the answer. I want to live for 39 years of my life it has been a struggle. I was simply surviving, which is the case for most people who grew up in a pover-ish state. You become a survivor. When I left Norwalk, CT I realized for the first time that the world was a lot bigger than little ole Norwalk. Don’t get me wrong, it was a great place to live but the world is big. This past weekend I met a man whom I had known all of my life. I say that I met him because this is a side of him I had never seen. He put before me a philosophy infused with the Word of God; even though he is clearly not saved, that tells us that God desires us to have; LIFE! John 10:10a this man (who is my uncle), said to me that he is having the best time of his life at the age of 66yrs old. I listen to how he said he refuses to mope around he does the things that he enjoys. He lives. This man was so vivacious that I sat in awe of him as a Christian Woman who loves God truly and have a relationship with Him. I was in awe. Although, he has chosen to live outside of the Laws and commandments of the Word of God; his philosophy is biblically based and it is the Will of God that you live. When you receive Jesus You receive life. When you receive the Holy Spirit, you received the power to live that life to the fullest and you received the essence of God. The definition of essence is the quality or qualities that make a thing. The essence of a thing is the soul of a thing. Your soul should be ALIVE… Especially those who are in CHRIST JESUS!
I choose to LIVE! I choose to live within the laws and commands of God but I choose to live; in all my righteousness. This was the first time I received God’s wisdom in such a deep way in a non-Christian environment.